Love does not insist on its own way. It is not self-seeking or selfish. It is not focused on itself; it doesn’t take from others. It operates in generosity and freedom and with the belief that there is enough for everyone. It shares, gives, and in return, receives love back to itself.
Insisting on our own way is making ourselves happy at the detriment of someone else and it places conditions on that happiness. It could be helping others with the intention of receiving something in return. If I receive something, then I am happy I helped you. It could be trying to change someone’s behaviors to make ourselves happy. If you are what I want you to be, then I will be happy. It could be more direct like stealing clients, undermining co-workers or taking the spotlight so we receive all of the praise. If I am the best, then I am happy. It’s acting and speaking to increase our own happiness at someone else’s expense. It’s operating with the intention of self-gain.
Often times, when we insist on our own way, we believe that we are in control. We are claiming our destiny! We aren’t waiting for happiness; we are taking it now! But the reality is that we are imprisoned in fear, the fear that we will not be happy unless. We can become so overcome with it that we do whatever we can to quench it’s thirst, even at the detriment of someone else.
What we feed is what we grow. When we feed the fear of being unhappy, we create the fruits of fear. These fruits can be lack, misery (the opposite of what we are seeking!), war, broken relationships, anger and loneliness. We all know this isn’t what we want in our lives or anyone else’s. I feel confident in saying that what we all want are the fruits of love! Joy, fulfillment, compassion, generosity, more love, peace and kindness. These are the things that create lasting happiness in our lives; these are the things that create love in this world. These are the things we all truly want.
So how do we break free from the imprisonment of fear? How do we loosen its tight grip? How can we be happy without conditions, the I’ll be happy if…? What we feed is what we grow, right? If we feed the fruits of love, we create that lasting happiness we are seeking. We create strong relationships with one another. We create personal fulfillment. And as we create these things within ourselves, we affect others with love. If we want the fruits of love, we must grow them. Let’s be generous with our actions, words and resources (including our time). Let’s discover and do the things that create joy. Let’s commit to activities that give us lasting fulfillment. Let’s be kind with ourselves and one another. Let’s create peace in our lives. Let’s feed our hearts with the fruits of love, not fear, and create a loving existence for ourselves and for all of those we touch.
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